The Biggest Change in My Life – A Sister’s Story!

As salaamu alaykum warahmatuallaah wabarakatuh,
I want to talk to you about my life before and after Hijab. I am a Muslim girl 20 years old from Arabian Gulf " The original place of Islam." I used to believe that hijab is not an important issue. And it's lucking my freedom. So I decided that I would never were Hijab as long as I live. Although my mother wears Hijab but she never convinces my sisters or me to wear it. She thought that you have to believe in it to do it or else you will take it off as soon as we are far away from her. And I think that it might be right in some way.
Or it might make hijab more difficult for us when we get older. It is so hard to get used to something for your whole life and change it at once. It will take you a long time to change your mind. Any way, I used to love to show up specially that I am not bad looking at all. And that was the most difficult part. I used to love to dress up and buy expensive clothes and I loved it when every one was looking and pointing at me. I used to love it when some says "wow! She's beautiful."
After I finished my High school I decided to go to have my degree in the United States. I saw  a thing in there that I have not ever seen before. It is Muslim society and community. It's amazing society with perfect Muslims. They are practicing Islam in a different way that we got used to it. Muslims in Gulf aria have been borne Muslims. Arabs didn't have to ask any questions because every thing is obvious. We didn't have to think about faith and how to believe in God, because we were raised and every one around us is Muslim. We didn't know what's the real Islam and how does it feel to live between all different religious and a mix society. And I just realized that people in Gulf didn't practice pure religion, but they had a mixture between Islam and culture. So many things that I thought it was an Islamic terms turned out to be a culture believe. And they are absolutely wrong aspects. I learned that the pure Islam is not the one that we were raised on which is full of nonsense stuff that we had in our culture since a long time ago. The real Islam is only in Quran and Sunah.
When people in the states find out that I am Muslim, they always ask so many questions about Islam and most the time I can't find an answer to their questions. So I started to go searching and looking in Islamic books and in Internet about Islam "the real thing." I was like someone has not heard any thing about Islam before. I learned so many things that I have not knew.. I started to go to the masjid and sit with so many brothers and sisters talking and discussing Islamic matters. I swear that I have never gone to any masjid in my country or even think about it. Although we had thousands of Masjids back home. All the sisters in the masjids were wearing hijab except me. And they were all Americans except me.  And they wear all broad about it and I respected them so much for that. I started to think about it all the time.
And I started to have so many dreams about me wearing the hijab. I started to have some strange feeling towered my self; I hated it when someone was looking at me. I felt that I was only a picture without a heart or a brain. I finally   decided to go for it and wear the Hijab. It was the best choice I have ever had. For the first time in my life; I felt that I am a strong person. Because  I will go for what I believe in, and I didn't care of what people think of it or how they will look at me.
First day of Hijab was the best. I never felt so good and broad in my whole life of my self as much as I felt in that day. My friends and relatives didn't believe that I could do it. And every one said that I won't keep it for too long. And that maybe one of the things that pushed me to keep it until this day. I had to go through a fight with my self. My self which always loved this life any try to enjoy it as much as I could. Now was time to say stop, and I did. After a while every one started to respect me so much that no one had treat me like that before. Every one believed in me so much because they knew that I am a religious person. And what gave them that expression? It's the Hijab. I can go every where now and no one would look at me as if I was a picture or a dummy. Never the less I still dress up good and put make up when I am with my sisters and that turned out to be more fun.
I believe that Allah demand Hijab to help us and to make our life easier. It builds respect between men and women. Also, it's a matter of  keeping your body to your self or who Allah allowed you to show (mahram). It is also a sign that show that you are Muslim, like in all religious. For example, Jewish wears a small cup on top of their heads and Christians wear a cross. And non of those two feels ashamed to show it to public. No man would think badly about
A woman who is wearing a hijab so that will provide her to fall in mistakes (khateah) or something that is (haram). A person who can wear Hijab is strong enough to do any thing else and to go through any problems that she may face in all life matter. Every one around you will trust you in every thing because you trust your self. Don't you think your body is so important? And don't you think your body is that valuable?  You don't need some one to tell you that you're beautiful because you know that. And you don't need someone to look at you as if you were a beautiful drawing or a picture because you're a human been.
As salaamu alaykum warahmatallaah wabarakatuh..
(please forward this to all the people you know, I want every one to read my story)
May Allah bless you, jazakum allaah khayran

Masikah Relevan

Psikologi adalah ilmu yang banyak digunakan oleh berbagai kalangan baik dari segi sosial, pendidikan, industri, maupun dari kalangan sebuah keluarga. Walaupun pada kenyataannya psikologi masih banyak mengalami perdebatan dan pertentangan di dalam keilmuwannya sendiri. Seperti halnya kepribadian dan inteligensi yang memang masih terdapat berbagai macam berbedaan teori dan pertentangan, apakah memang kepribadian dan inteligensi bersifat keturunan ataukah dari proses hasil belajar? Bahkan ketika perdebatan ini belum selesai, sudah banyak praktik-praktik psikologi dan penyuluhan psikologi yang memberikan informasi tentang kepribadian dan inteligensi itu sendiri di kalangan masyarakat, yang kenyataannya memang masih diperdebatkan. Kita akan membahas dan memahami apakah memang psikologi masih relevan di tengah pertentangan dan perdebatan yang memang belum selesai sampai saat ini dalam kehidupan bermasyarakat?
Sejarah perkembangan psikologi tidak bisa lepas dari konteks sosial pada saat itu sehingga akan lebih tepat jika perbedaan teori psikologi dikatakan sebagai aliran-aliran psikologi. Dimana dalam kehidupan beragama pun kita memiliki berbagai macam aliran, dalam agama islam misalnya, di Indonesia terdapat berbagai aliran seperti nadhatul ulama, muhammadiah dan lain-lain. Dari kesemuanya itu memiliki pemahaman yang berbeda-beda, tetapi masih satu tujuan dan jalan yang sama dalam berketuhanan.
Bahkan sejarah terbentuknya aliran dalam islam bermula dari berbedaan, begitu juga dengan ilmu psikologi. Bisa dikatakan, memang terjadi ketidaksetujuan dan ketidakpuasan atas suatu aliran tertentu sehingga membentuk aliran baru yang berbeda atau bahkan bertentangan. Walaupun terdapat berbagai aliran dalam ilmu psikologi, semua aliran itu masih dalam satu kajian yang mempelajari perilaku manusia dan proses mental. Aliran psikologi tidak bisa dilepaskan dari paradigma yang berpengaruh pada saat itu sehingga tidak bisa diperdebatkan pertentangan teorinya, terutama psikoanalisis dan humanistik yang mencoba keluar dari ranah empiris dan kembali pada sisi filsafat, berbeda dengan strukturalisme yang memang fokus dengan empirisme.
Kembali lagi manakah aliran yang kita pakai dan benar secara keilmuwan untuk diterapkan? Jawabannya adalah semua tergantung, manakah dari berbagai aliran tersebut yang memang sesuai dan menggambarkan keadaan dan situasi budaya, norma, moral dan adat istiadat kita sebagai pelaku budaya. Ketika budaya kita lebih condong untuk melihat kepintaran atau kecerdasan dari banyaknya binatang yang bisa kita buru (budaya suku pedalaman, misalnya) maka itulah yang bisa kita katakan sebagai kecerdasan kita sebagai masyarakat pedalaman. Bahwa kesemuanya itu kembali pada relevansinya terhadap kebudayaan kita. Bagaimana kesesuaian antara teori dan aliran-aliran psikologi dengan kebudayaan kita sebagai masyarakat di Indonesia yang memiliki berbagai macam suku dan budaya.
Ketika kita akan berbicara berbagai macam budaya, jika dikaitkan dengan kajian ilmu psikologi, kita akan kembali membahas tentang “psikologi lintas budaya”. Dimana psikologi lintas budaya adalah studi tentang kesamaan dan perbedaan pada fungsi-fungsi psikologis individu dalam berbagai budaya dan kelompok etnokultural; hubungan antara variabel-variabel psikologis dan sosio-cultural, variabel ekokultural dan biologis dan terjadinya perubahan pada variabel-variabel tersebut (Segall dkk, 2002)
Berdasarkan pengertian di atas kita diharuskan mengetahui perbedaan budaya kita dengan budaya pada saat psikologi muncul sebagai ilmu pengetahuan. Apakah kajian ilmu tersebut sesuai dengan kebudayaan kita ataukah ada berbedaan di dalamnya. Misalkan, ketika kita adalah suku pedalaman yang masih menggunakan cara berburu dalam kehidupan sehari-hari maka berburu bisa menjadi tolak ukur kecerdasan kita sebagai masyarakat pedalaman, bukan dilihat dari bagaimana kecerdasan itu diukur dari bisa dan tidaknya kita menghitung matematika, menjawab soal-soal ujian, menjawab serangkaian tes kecerdasan dan lain-lain.
Bahkan pada saat sekarang ini DSM IV telah menghapus indikasi homoseksual adalah bentuk dari gangguan kejiwaan. Mereka mengatakan bahwa homoseksual adalah normal, kemudian bagaimanakah dengan kita sebagai masyarakat psikologi Indonesia? Apakah kita akan menerimanya mentah-mentah ataukah melihat kembali ke dalam tolak ukur kita sebagai masyarakat yang memiliki kebudayaan yang berbeda dengan mereka. Kesesuaian teori psikologi dengan kebudayaan kita itulah yang benar-benar harus kita pahami, sehingga teori-teori tersebut adalah teori yang benar-benar relevan dengan kebudayaan dan diri kita sebagai manusia.

scare easy

My love's an ocean
You better not cross it
I've been the distance
And I need some rest
Yeah I had somebody once
And damn if I lost her
I've been running
Like a man possessed

I don't scare easy
Don't fall apart
When I'm under the gun
You can break my heart
And I ain't gonna run
I don't scare easy
For no one

Yeah, I am a loser
At the top of my game
I should have known
To keep an eye on you
Now I got a God
It ain't never the same
Yeah, I got a dream
That don't ever come true

I don't scare easy
Don't fall apart
When I'm under the gun
You can break my heart
But I ain't gonna run
I don't scare easy
For no one

Sun going down
On a canyon wall
I got a soul
That ain't never
Been blessed
Yeah and I'm a shadow
At the back of the hall
Yeah, I got a sin
I ain't never confessed

And I don't scare easy
Don't fall apart
When I'm under the gun
You can break my heart
And I ain't gonna run
I don't scare easy
For no one

fierthink